Psalm 61:2

 

Psalm 61:2 - "From the ends of the earth I call to you, I call as my heart grows faint; lead me to the rock that is higher than I." 

Today was a rough day due to a mixture of too many feelings, too many deadlines, too many snide comments, etc etc. By 11am, I was ready to give up and call off for the rest of the day. Unfortunately, I've already missed two Mondays of work in a row (Thank you stomach virus and Vegas...) so that wasn't really an option. I had to push through. But how?

My first thought was to drown myself in homework. I've been putting off a paper for a few days now knowing it was going to be a particularly straining one to write. That probably lasted for about ten minutes before I found myself crying over the syllabus.

The next (most obvious) choice was to cuddle with my pup, Gandalf. He always usually seems to make things better. Not today. Last night he ate my dinner I left on the floor after biting my tongue so hard blood was spewing everywhere. Ok, maybe it wasn't spewing, but it was an awful lot of blood! So, today, as I tried to snuggle with him, he proceeded to head butt me... which led to me biting my tongue. Again. Cue the second round of tears.

My next option was to hit the gym. I should've known this wouldn't work considering I often fake sick to get out of going, (DON'T TELL MY HUSBAND!) but I tried it anyway. As I started my treadmill, I heard a voice.
"Why not try coming to me?" -Well, God, I totally would, but I'm trying out a run first. I need quiet and focus if You don't mind.
"Focus on me." -Ok, well, I would, but I can't afford to cry while I run today. It gets really hard to breathe and I need to make it 30 minutes for my 10K training.
"Just talk. Breathe me in. Run to me." 

I gave into God. I turned my Game of Thrones Pandora station as high as it could go, turned my speed up to a whopping 5.1 mph, and began running towards God. I laid all the junk weighing on my heart at His feet. I called to Him and He answered. Nothing was immediately solved, but my focus was shifted towards The One higher than me. He gave me a peace that I could make it through one more day. He gave me the discernment to not send that sassy response email. He gave me the energy and the breath to run further than I expected to.

For one of the first times, I'm glad I went to the gym. Not because I had a great workout, but because it caused me to emotionally slow down. It lead me to The Rock. Can you smell what I'm cookin' here?
Let me break it down: On my own, I'm a weepy mess. I am easily overwhelmed and very unproductive. With God, I am a strong, confident, capable woman. My prayer is to be continually pointed to The One higher than myself - even if it means repeated trips to the gym. He carries me through the tough days.

Thanks, God, for meeting me where I am with gracious, wide open arms.